"Mummy, mummy, please can I phone the pirates for you?”
“No.”
“Pleeeeez.”
By this time, with rain battering my windscreen and cars jamming the road, I was at the end of my tether.
“OK”, I said, tossing the phone into the back of the car.
“They are under P for pirates."

A 12-year-old girl gets through to Somali pirates.